The Missing Bones of Twinkle Khanna

The title of this post reminds us of a film we saw ages ago called ‘The Lovely Bones’. If you watched this film as a young girl, it must have haunted you and made you avoid any cornfield or any other quiet large space to walk into. In this movie, a lonely/introverted man likes to kidnap girls and keep them in his underground den. He also kills them, but that’s beside the point.

It seems that Twinkle Khanna too when she married Akshay Kumar/Rajiv Bhatia, decided to put all of her bones in an underground den with the exception of her funnybones. Her funnybones make her have the capability and give her the right to voice her comments and concerns to everyone. She has somehow made it her business to comment on everything that she sees and knows about, whether it is the celebration of Karwa Chauth or an unfortunate situation like a man doing his business on the beach. Notice how she thinks she’s funny with the first picture posting and then she had to explain why she thought that was funny by posting the same picture with her explanations.

 

LITERALLY

Can you actually blame her? The media gave her a platform to do that. She has managed to turn around her husband’s image and made them the #couplegoals, a title that the media seems to give them. We have laughed at their attempt in trying the be the best couple in Bollywood.

 

Mr. Bajao and Mrs. Funnybones

They might have fooled others, but they haven’t fooled us. They are privileged people, who pretend to be down to earth. Well, now the people are showing them what it is like to be down to earth by actually putting them down on Twitter and elsewhere online.

First of all, if she found a man doing his business on the beach and took his picture without his permission, the right thing to do was to perhaps suggest that more toilets or restrooms be built in this area to help these people. No, she chooses to use this moment and promote her husband’s film instead. What if that was a woman doing her business? Would she have taken a picture and not cared? Does she even know how people get all kinds of stomach problems because they don’t have access to a proper bathroom/toilet? Did she even think, as a woman, how the many young girls with no access to bathrooms have to face this huge problem during their menses? This is a serious issue and right now, her husband is using all these real issues and highlighting them in his films. Is it enough to only highlight these issues when their own people actually need help? Are they not in a position to do something or are they keeping all their money to use in Canada? Speaking of Canada, Akshay was asked about his Canadian citizenship and this is what he replied:

Say what?

People, are you proud that Akshay Kumar is an honorary citizen of Canada?

If yes, then wait until you see who is on the list of Canada’s honorary citizens:

Do you see it?

Because we don’t. There ain’t no Akshay Kumar or Rajiv Bhatia on this list. The only one with no name is the 14th Dalai Lama, maybe that’s Khiladi Kumar! Either way, do you see the people on this list? Who they are and what they have achieved? Why did Akshay think he deserved to be on this list? Furthermore, here’s what honorary citizenship includes:

The honour is symbolic. Honorary citizens do not have any rights or privileges associated with Canadian citizenship, such as a passport or the right to vote.

But Akshay Kumar was detained at Heathrow Airport, he had his Canadian passport on him. So, there goes your honorary status! When this issue came out last year, we already had a post on it. Back then, he said he has dual citizenship! Guess he thinks we are like his wife and would take any of his crap!

Back to Twinkle/Tina, she will comment on anything and everything, except the number of affairs her husband has been accused of having. We are going to use that sentence because it’s not right to directly accuse, so let’s just say “allegedly”.

What can we all rightfully accuse Akshay Kumar of is that he is sexist or what was it that Priyanka Chopra’s character called him in ‘Aitraaz’: MCP aka a Male Chauvinist Pig. They were rumored to have had an affair while shooting this film, so yes PC definitely knows better. Let’s take her word for it.

 

Akshay Kumar’s Behaviour

Like everyone else, we have followed interviews, the making of, and stage shows’ videos on youtube. There is proof of his behavior with women through these videos. That aside, when journalists called him out on how sexist and mean to women his character was in ‘Kambakkht Ishq’, his reasoning was like, “Well in Hollywood, they do it so why can’t we?”. It was something like that. His “Vvhomen are only good for two things” line is still a pain to hear even today.

If you have seen the ‘Kambakkht Ishq’ promotions, you actually realize how western Akshay wants to be in his treatment of women. His such a (we want to say white people, but then he thinks he’s a rapper as well, so let’s just go with Western) Western wannabe and it’s probably why he applied and got that Canadian citizenship; he fully deserves it. Little do these Canadians know that Khiladi Kumar also likes to bajao any woman and his wife fully supports him because that’s what men and women commonly do in a colloquial way.

This might look like an “Akshay Kumar bashing post”, but it’s not. We have noticed his behavior for years and it’s puzzling to us how despite being as old as he is, he still behaves the same way. When we noticed how little respect he has for women, he became nothing to us. We are not interested in paying to watch his films or even caring what he’s up to. The philandering rumors are something else, but to behave this way despite being this old is just too much enabling going by the people who surround him, including his wife. When it’s wrong, it’s wrong. That’s it and we have always said that we are not biased and blind, this is why. The truth is out there and you too can see it if only you open your eyes!

Here are the gifs from these videos that we are talking about. Now we know there might be more, but these are the only ones we remember. These are all spontaneous actions from his side, not choreographed at all.

 

Pushing/throwing

Fake slapping for laughs

Shoving/Throwing

Must have been a strong shove/throw

Pretending to beat or slightly beat

“Here, take it and smell it!”

This is just to show how a lady protects herself from unwanted touch/hug

You will not find Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan, or Aamir Khan behaving like this with their heroines. Sure, Salman might do it offscreen but that’s because he’s not all there. You guys know what his deal is, but with Akshay, it truly is puzzling. Either he’s frustrated and hates some of his female co-stars or he thinks he’s actually trying to be funny. You pick which one it is. We see it as manhandling because he’s a strong guy and probably he doesn’t realize that his actions can hurt these ladies.

 

Anyways, over the past week, here’s what happened:

 

Akshay Kumar judges a reality comedy show along with two other real-life comedians, a man, and a woman. Akshay made a vulgar comment about the lady judge, which never made it to the final telecast video but ended up being released as a leaked video. The lady’s father saw the video and tweeted angrily about how Akshay spoke to his daughter on the show and how cheap it was. We don’t have to say what Akshay said, we let his wife explain to you what happened. This is actually her response to the whole situation because she no longer wants to be tagged in news relating to this. Sure, tag her on other things but not what negative things that her 50-year-old husband does/says to other women. Here’s her reply, which looked like she made her little daughter write down:

Twinkle then received a backlash, very deservingly so, about her response to what her husband said. Instead of asking her husband to apologize and be done with it, she choose to retweet and comment on jokes regarding this situation. Two things are clear here: she is not that smart to realize how this is a bad move (maybe her PR people were on holiday) and she is actually searching to see what people are saying about this whole situation when she came across this joke. On that note, did she also happen to find a Weinstein joke that she would care to share? Perhaps, it’s something that we should all find funny!

 

We are not naming the young lady here because it could have been any woman and we believe Akshay would have still said the same vulgar thing. We doubt he would have said that had it been a man, though. Either way, you see her name in the screenshot when she replied back to Twinkle’s lame joke about this whole thing.

 

The lady decided not to put this issue on Akshay alone and instead, she choose to highlight this sexist behavior to call out the other big stars, who dare to behave the same way. Here’s a part of her statement:

This is not about Akshay Kumar, instead it is about every big star, who cannot differentiate between charm and harm. This is about every big celebrity who thinks his colleague enjoys being grabbed by the waist and twirled without her consent. This is about workplace etiquette for everybody, men and women included, and about understanding the idea of professional communication so we don’t make someone uncomfortable in their place of work, unintentionally or otherwise.

Akshay’s fans have been harassing the lady on Twitter by claiming that she is looking for attention since she was fired from the show along with the other male judge. They were actually replaced by more famous people to help increase the TRPs of the show. The same people also say that after this incident, she continued to work with Akshay for 2 more days and she didn’t mention her displeasure to him. What kind of logic is that? What if all these female stars, who worked with Akshay, were able to do something to stop him from being rough with them? These are stars that we are talking about and they preferred to keep quiet in the fear of not getting any more roles opposite him. This lady explained her father’s anger against Akshay by rightly pointing out if Akshay would have been happy had another man said the same thing to his daughter, Nitaara.

 

If you are hoping that Mrs. Funnybones go back to that underground shed and get her backbone back, you are dreaming the impossible. She will never do that, she will never oppose him in public. Know why? Because that will go against the lovey-dovey image they have built up in the media.

Hey, who cares? The cards are falling and the public has seen their true colors. Now, they are going to move on like nothing ever happened. They might even come on the next season of Koffee with Karan and bajao to a song together. But first, guess who they were spotted with on Sunday evening?

That’s right! Poor Bollywood star ex/wives are having a hard time defending their husbands against other women. Do you know what would be perfect? If Kangana Ranaut does a film with Akshay Kumar and he tries his luck to bajao her. Do you know what’s going to happen then? Mrs. Funnybones better run with her remaining bones because Kangu and her sister don’t mess around; don’t believe us, just ask Hrithik Roshan!

It’s not like Twinkle didn’t do anything. We are sure if you listened carefully outside their house on that day, you would have heard the sound of Twinkle removing Akshay’s toupee and hitting him with it. He does look like a beaten man in that picture above, but she still can’t come out in public and say that he has done something wrong.

Jokes aside, if this matter gets bigger, don’t be surprised to see Akshay’s female co-stars write open letters in his support. Well, to be fair, not all of them. Maybe Raveena Tandon, Pooja Bhatra, Priyanka Chopra, and Shilpa Shetty will not do so because they are too busy with their own lives to deal with this mess. Wink-wink!

All the stars are quiet on this as opposed to how vocal they were when Hrithik Roshan was supposedly being harassed. Where is Farhan Akhtar’s open letter? Doesn’t he have two daughters? He can relate, right? What about Farah Khan or Yami Gautam? Or Shabana Azmi? Or Sonam Kapoor? Are they all quiet because the victim is not a famous person, as in their level of famous; someone whom they can get something from professionally, someone who’s an advantage to them? That’s hypocrisy on the next level!